I stepped outta the shower and I gotta good look at myself
Pot belly, bald head, man, I thought I was somebody else
I caught my reflection in the mirror on the back of my bathroom door
I just don't look good naked anymore
So, I'm goin' upstairs and turn the bedroom mirror
to the wall
I hung it there when I was trim and tall
I'd stand there and smile, and strut and flex until
my arms got sore
But I just don't look good naked anymore
Well, I used to go out with the girls
I loved them one and all
Now they don't get very close to me
They're afraid that I might fall
Well, I went to the Doctor for my annual medical exam
Stood there in the buff, suddenly he said "MAN"
I said "What is it Doc, some fatal disease,
I just gotta know the score"
He said "No, you just don't look good naked anymore
Well, me and my wife had a dance routine
Everybody said it was unique
Now it's only when we're back to back
That we're dancing cheek to cheek
Well, I went to a nudie beach to have some seaside fun
Stretched out in my birthday suit, soakin' up the sun
Somebody yelled, "Hey, there's an old white whale
washed up on the shore
I just don't look good naked anymore
Yeah, my arches fell, my chest went to hell
And my butt's a-draggin' the floor
An' I just don't look good naked anymore
